I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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