Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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