lets start a swedish sibling band together
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
