I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
