Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
