In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
