just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
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If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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