ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
last night I used snow as a chaser
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