Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
