the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
