we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
