come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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