4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
