i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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