I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
