Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
