...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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