I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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