worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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