I CAN MOONWALK!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I need a burrito and a hug.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
