Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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