i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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