So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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