Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
