What a fucking waste of an outfit
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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