He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
