kristin has been a bad kristin
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
