Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
