Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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