I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
