This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
