And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
