Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize