She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
