hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
