She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
