Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
