You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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