So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
