in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
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maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
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Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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