i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
