therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You were trust falling into bushes
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
