We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
