we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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