Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
