my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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