Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
