Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
