So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
