Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
