how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
