I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Found the puke drawer
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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