I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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