What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
