Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
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It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
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