He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
it's like heaven, but drunker
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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