oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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