i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
