He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
