My brain says no but my pants say off.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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