I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
