Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
