I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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